And we graduated.

Bill says, “Write every day.” Bill emailed me on Friday and repeated it, again. He used to read my blog every day. He told me he saved all of them. He was pleased I graduated with my doctorate in ed tech but he really wanted me to get back to what he tacitly insists is my real work. Writing every day. Followers of my old blog, Jam and Bread, we may be back in business.

All weekend, I repeated, “Only in fiction can you tell the truth,” though I edited it slightly, to either the version Bill said the first time I heard him say this, or to my own voice: “If you want to tell the truth, write fiction.” 

Sebastian is writing a book about his life in rock and roll – the death of the band, the death of the rock and roll dream. The death of community, of life as we know it. All utterly true, but fictionalized. He is a reader, a writer, an impossibly nice guy, and he told me in a friendly teacher way that other authors before Bill have said that thing about truth in fiction. I choose to believe that Bill invented it. 

I miss writing, THAT kind of writing. I always defend by saying, “But I do write every day!” Which I did in my last job, helping other people write their things, occasionally stepping in and writing for them when I decided it wasn’t worth the back-and-forth volleys to get them around to doing what I could do faster myself in the first place. (SUCH EGO.) But worthwhile! Inspiring. Challenging. Meaningful. Now I’m back in the classroom teaching elementary band, trying to make more Chet Bakers. That seems worthwhile, too. Very worthwhile. 

Did I tell you I gave up coffee? No? That’s because I haven’t seen you, but trust me, I have told everyone I’ve seen that I gave up coffee, even people I don’t know. I drink green tea now and it’s horrible. So maybe that is my writing time, my fifteen minutes of green tea forbearance and ablution.  Maybe that is when I will start blogging again. I can’t promise it will be about ed tech.

Oh, why. Why I gave up coffee: reflux. Though I suspect it was also stress of finishing the dissertation, and also parenting, and also getting used to a career change from online course building in my own home into hauling instruments from school to school and making endless, endless photocopies of notated versions of Merrily We Roll Along but making barely enough to pay my bills. It’s a lot of work and it takes all of my brain, just like my last job as a director of education at an online school for the arts took all of my brain. The difference is, this new job also takes all of my soul. In truth, though, if we’re doing it right, what doesn’t?

It is looking like this new job may win. I may never go back to online course design. But, I have learned, never say never. 

Bear with me while I talk about myself. I think of you often, as life is hard. Keep writing. Keep doing. Someone told me it works. 

This morning, grateful for the fabulous people in my life who cheered me on as I struggled through finishing a doctorate. It was a lot of work. It was stressful. (Working in an emergency room or fighting fires or counseling desperate souls is also a lot of work and very stressful. I know the difference.)

Thank you for being my friend. I think you are way, way better than sliced bread. Also, thank you, Bill. Every writer needs a Bill.